The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase
by angelenes-dreams
Summary: Moved to the R's because it bugs people!
1. The Burning Question

Quick thanks for the positive reviews on my other fics! Keep 'em coming!! I hope I've been successful in keeping the character's personalities similar to the show while thrusting them into adult situations. It takes place after my first fic, A Little Sunshine, so go back and read it first if you haven't. Hope you enjoy.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except the plot, blah blah...  
  
The One With The Lima Beans and The Car Chase  
A SpongeBob Squarepants Fanfic  
  
PART ONE: The Burning Question  
  
We see SpongeBob at Sunny's house. Both of them are laying on the couch watching TV. SpongeBob is absentmindedly playing with Sunny's hair. Fluffy the Worm is curled up the floor at his mistress' feet.  
  
SpongeBob: "I love you, Sunny!"  
  
Sunny: "I know! You keep telling me every time there's a commercial! I love you too, sweety."  
  
She gives him a peck on the cheek, then glances at him sideways. He is happily oblivious, as always.  
  
Sunny: "Hey SpongeBob?"  
  
SpongeBob: "I love you too, Sunny!"  
  
Sunny: "Uh, can we talk about something for a minute?"  
  
She gets a little squirmy, then turns off the TV. SpongeBob has seen alot of movies in his short young life, and feels like he knows where this is going. He jumps up and falls down on his knees in front of her and starts bawling.  
  
SpongeBob: "Oh Sunny! No! Please! Don't leave me!"  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob..."  
  
SpongeBob: "I can change! Oh pleeeeease!"  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob..."  
  
SpongeBob: "Is it the tie?! (He rips it off) I'll never wear it again!"  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob! I am not going to leave you!"  
  
SpongeBob: "...you're not..?"  
  
Sunny: "No silly! we have a great time together! Plus alot in common..."  
  
She glances over to her Jelly fishing gear and mountains of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy comic books.  
  
Sunny: "...I was just wondering...um, well, we've been together for 6 months now. Maybe we should talk about taking things a step further."  
  
SpongeBob thinks real hard, then looks at her, eyebrows raised.  
  
SpongeBob: "You want to start wearing each other's clothes?"  
  
Sunny: "NO! SpongeBob, I'm talking about sex! I want to have sex with you!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Oh."  
  
Sunny: "I mean, I feel like we've come close so many times. Then you seem to get nervous and we stop. Are you afraid?"  
  
After a deep breath, he covers his face with his hands and mutters something incoherent.  
  
Sunny: "I didn't catch that, Bobby."  
  
SpongeBob: "I said, I'm still a virgin."  
  
He turns red and hides his face again. Sunny hugs him.  
  
Sunny: "I kinda already gathered that. But why are you making it seem like a bad thing?"  
  
SpongeBob: "I didn't want to seem like a total weenie. I mean, I can tell that you have some experience...I've just been following your lead until I get that funny squeezy feeling in my stomach and I have to stop..."  
  
Sunny: "I love my little Spongey! Well, what do you say? Shall we make a date out of it?"  
  
She tickles him until they are both laughing. He has renewed vigor.  
  
SpongeBob: "Let's do it! Tomorrow! But, Sunny?"  
  
Sunny: "Yes, SpongeBob?"  
  
His eyes get huge and doe-like.  
  
SpongeBob: "Please...be gentle with me!"  
  
END OF PART ONE  
  
What awaits our young lovers? Heavenly bliss or cartoon chaos? Keep checking for part two! Let me know what you think! 


	2. Work the Next Day

Quick note: The title to this story was an off the wall comment made by SpongeBob to Squidward in the episode "Fools in April". It just tickled me and I had to use it. Oh well, enjoy! AND AS USUAL, I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT!  
  
The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase  
A SpongeBob Squarepants Fanfic  
by angelenes-dreams  
  
PART TWO - AT WORK THE NEXT DAY  
  
It is the next day, and SpongeBob is at work. Being a Friday, its been extremely busy all day, keeping his mind focused on Krabbie Patties and fried oyster skins, and off of his special night tonight with Sunny, his girlfriend of six months. Finally, closing time comes. Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob talk as they finish wiping down the dinning room.  
  
Squidward: "Well...another day, another dime."  
  
SpongeBob: (gasps) "You get a whole dime?"  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Keep talkin' like that, an' I'll take my dimes back! Ar ar ar ar! We had us a good day today! So, what are you lads up to on a Friday night? Think I'll give Mrs. Puff a little visit!"  
  
He gives Squidward a wink and a nudge.  
  
Squidward: "Okay! You can spare us the details! (sighs) I'm probably going straight to bed. My tentacles are killing me."  
  
Mr. Krabs: How 'bout you, boy?"  
  
SpongeBob is diligently wiping the tables.  
  
SpongeBob: "Sunny and I are going to have sex tonight."  
  
The room goes deathly quiet. When SpongeBob stops and looks up, Mr. Krabs' and Squidward's jaws are hanging down and their eyes are bulging, more than usual. After a moment, Mr. Krabs starts laughing.  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Ar ar ar ar ar ar! Good for you, son! Mr. Squidward, our little fry cook is turnin' into a man, he is!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Well, Mr. Krabs...I've never, you know, done it...before..."  
  
Squidward: "Um, may I please be excused to go clean the bathrooms?! I really don't think I can stomach this conversation!"  
  
Mr. Krabs waves him off.  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Oh, don't worry! You'll be fine! Just be safe. You have protection?"  
  
Panic mounts in SpongeBob.  
  
SpongeBob: "Protection?! From what?!"  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Didn't your mum an' dad ever tell ya 'bout the Scallops and the Jellyfish?"  
  
SpongeBob screams in horror.  
  
SpongeBob: "What happens with the scallops and the jellyfish??!!"  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Ar, I didn't realized you were this naive...come into me office, lad."  
  
In his office, he has a long talk with SpongeBob about the downsides of sex. Afterwards, SpongeBob feels like someone who has eaten more than he is able to digest. He thanks Mr. Krabs and goes to leave.  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Just enjoy yerself, boy! Natural instincts have a way of takin' over! Oh, before I ferget...here you go."  
  
He reaches into his desk drawer and hands SpongeBob a prophylactic.  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Good night, lad!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Yeah...goodnight, Mr. Krabs..."  
  
SpongeBob's head is swimming. He leaves the Krusty Krab. A thought suddenly occurs to Mr. Krabs.  
  
Mr. Krabs: "Great Neptune...Please tell me he knows what to do with that thing..."  
  
He imagines SpongeBob blowing it up like a balloon, and then letting it go. It flies around and round SpongeBob and Sunny's heads and then drops on the floor. SpongeBob says to her, "Wanna do it again?"  
  
END OF PART 2  
  
Tonight's the big night! Keep checking back in a few days for part 3!!! 


	3. The Big Night

Howdy Ya'll! I'm disturbing some of you with this story, but it seems you can't stay away! Goody goody gumdrops! You may be asking, "Okay, what's with the lima beans? Where's the car chase?!" Soon, my pretties! Let the fun begin! Thanks for your reviews!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Nothing belongs to me, 'cept the plot and Sunny!  
  
The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase  
a SpongeBob Squarepants Fanfic  
by angelenes-dreams  
  
PART THREE - THE BIG NIGHT  
  
SpongeBob and Sunny's plan was to have a nice quiet dinner at her house, ending with him spending the night there. Gary was already fed, and wouldn't need to be taken care of again until morning.  
  
SpongeBob spends a long time getting ready. After finally getting dressed, he looks in the mirror.  
  
SpongeBob: "She loves me and I love her. I want this to happen. Nngg! If I could just calm down! Okay...you're lookin' real good, SpongeBob. Let's go."  
  
He leaves his pineapple and walks next door to Sunny's picnic basket house, just like he's done a million times in the last six months. But tonight feels different... He knocks three times before walking in, and is greeted by the smell of wonderful cooking.  
  
SpongeBob: (singing) "Oh Sunshine!"  
  
Sunny appears before him, wearing a cute little green dress, looking pretty as usual. She gives him a kiss.  
  
Sunny: "Hey handsome! I hope you're hungry! Come and see!"  
  
She grabs his hand and pulls him into the kitchen, where she's set up a candlelight dinner.  
  
SpongeBob: "Wow! This looks great! (gasps!) Are those...?"  
  
Sunny: "Lima beans! Imported from the surface world, just for you! Sit and eat!"  
  
They start filling up their plates. She goes to hand him the bowl of lima beans when suddenly Fluffy the worm jumps up behind her and emits a very loud bark. Sunny screams in fright, flinging the bowl into SpongeBob's face.  
  
Sunny: "Bad Fluffy! Oh, sorry, Sponge! Go clean up while I let Fluffy outside real quick."  
  
SpongeBob picks beans off of himself, noticing a small bulge in his nose. He rams his finger up there, trying to get it out, but only succeeds in pushing it deeper. He curses.  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob?"  
  
SpongeBob: "I have a lima bean stuck in my nose."  
  
Sunny: "Oh. Well, let's see if--"  
  
SpongeBob: "Never mind. Let's eat before it gets cold."  
  
After finishing dinner and cleaning up, they sit on her couch.  
  
Sunny: "I want to show you this."  
  
She hands him a piece of official-looking paper.  
  
SpongeBob: "What is it?"  
  
Sunny: "From my doctor. Read it."  
  
He reads it carefully. It is the results of her last appointment. In bold letters along the bottom, it reads, "This certifies that Sunshine Sweetheart is a squeaky-clean sponge."  
  
Sunny: "I also take the pill..."  
  
A light bulb goes on in SpongeBob's head. These are some of the issues that Mr. Krabs told him about earlier today! Sunny was a careful girl! He had nothing to worry about!  
  
He suddenly grabs her and throws her down on her back, both of them giggling. They kiss and touch and tickle one another. He unbuttons her dress and is about to remove it when there is a deep, ugly growl in his ear. As far as Fluffly is concerned, NOBODY touches his Mistress. SpongeBob is paralyzed with fear.  
  
SpongeBob: "Uh, Sunny?!"  
  
Sunny: "Fluffy! NO! SpongeBob, let me up!"  
  
As soon as he lets go of Sunny's dress, Fluffy lunges forward and clamps down on SpongeBob's hand.  
  
SpongeBob: "YEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!"  
  
Fluffy starts shaking him like a squeaky toy until SpongeBob gets his footing and slams the worm up against the wall, making him let go. Fluffy looks dazed for about two seconds, then goes ballistic, barking and chasing SpongeBob. SpongeBob runs outside and slams the door. After a minute of Sunny screaming and Fluffy barking, she comes outside and locks her door.  
  
Sunny: "Well, Fluffy is a bit shaken up right now..."  
  
SpongeBob: "HE IS?!"  
  
Sunny: "Oh your hand is bleeding! We're going to have to go to your place."  
  
So they go to SpongeBob's house and bandage up his hand. Eventually, they wind up on the couch again. Sunny kisses SpongeBob's boo-boo, and one thing leads to the other. They are making out again. Sunny feels as though they are being watched. She opens her eyes and sees Gary watching them both intently.  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob?"  
  
SpongeBob: "Mmmm?"  
  
Sunny: "Gary is watching us."  
  
SpongeBob: "So?"  
  
Sunny: "SpongeBob, I can't do this with him watching!!!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Nghn! Barnacles! Let's go upstairs. Gary, stay!"  
  
He runs up the steps, pulling her behind him.  
  
SpongeBob: (thinking) By Neptune! We are going to do this if it kills me!!  
  
They burst into his bedroom, slam the door shut and start over again, this time with more furiousity. They actually manage to strip down to their underwear before they hear the sound of someone coming through the front door.  
  
Voice: "Oh, SpongeBob! Guess who?"  
  
SpongeBob's eyes widen.  
  
SpongeBob: "MOM?!"  
  
END OF PART 3  
  
Wow! Poor kids, huh? Well, it ain't over yet. I had to end it there because I didn't want to make this chapter too long. Sorry! Chapter 4 will post in about three days or so... 


	4. The Rest of the Big Night

When we last left our absorbent friends, SpongeBob's mom made an unannounced visit! Will they EVER get to be alone? I have decided to also include the final chapter, since it would have anti-climactic to make ya'll wait for such a short ending. I'm not cruel...much...  
  
DISCLAIMER: Give ya three guesses which characters I don't own...  
  
The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase  
a SpongeBob SquarePants Fanfic  
by angelenes-dreams  
  
PART 5 - THE REST OF THE BIG NIGHT  
  
SpongeBob: "MOM?!"  
  
Sunny: "You gave your mom a key?!"  
  
SpongeBob: (looking unsuccessfully for his pants) "Hey, she's my mom! Just be quiet a minute!"  
  
SpongeBob runs down the stairs in his underwear.  
  
SpongeBob: "Mom! What...a surprise!"  
  
Mrs. Squarepants: "I was just in the neighborhood, honey, and thought I'd stop in to see my little boy!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Oh, you shouldn't have..."  
  
Mrs. Squarepants: "Sit down with me. I've got an extremely long and drawn- out story about my trip to the beauty salon!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Mom? Uh, never mind. I was asleep, let me go put my pants back on. I'll be right down..."  
  
SpongeBob dashes upstairs to his bedroom.  
  
SpongeBob: "Sunny! Quick! Sneak out the window!"  
  
Sunny: "What?! We're on the second floor!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Look, I can't get rid of her. I'll come over later after she's gone."  
  
Sunny: (fuming) "No way, SpongeBob Squarepants! I've waited too long for this night! If I go, you're coming with me!"  
  
She grabs his arm and pulls him toward the window.  
  
SpongeBob: "What are you DOING?!"  
  
She leaps, pulling him out with her, and they fall. Somehow, she manages to land on him with a crunch. Mrs. Squarepants hears a noise upstairs.  
  
SpongeBob: "...ouch..."  
  
Mrs. Squarepants: "SpongeBob? Where are you?"  
  
Sunny: "C'mon, get up! I'll drive us somewhere quiet."  
  
SpongeBob: "I think I broke my head..."  
  
His forehead is bleeding. Sunny drags him over to her boat-mobile and throws him in. She pulls out and heads toward downtown Bikini Bottom. She reaches onto the back seat for a scarf that she hands to SpongeBob, who wraps it around his injured head. He suddenly has a revelation...  
  
SpongeBob: "Um, Sunny? Did you notice something?"  
  
She looks at him questioningly. They are stopped at a red light. A fish couple in another boat-mobile pull up beside them. The husband glances in their direction, then does a double-take.  
  
Fish Husband: "HOLY FISHPASTE! THEY'RE NAKED!!!"  
  
Sunny screams and floors it, running through the red light.  
  
SpongeBob: "What else could possibly happen tonight?!"  
  
The police car following them turns on it's siren.  
  
Sunny: "The police! You'll never catch me in my underwear, coppers!!!"  
  
She hits the accelerator, and SpongeBob screams like a girl.  
  
SpongeBob: "ARE YOU INSANE??!!"  
  
Sunny leads the police on a chase all over Bikini Bottom. Suddenly she turns, almost losing them. She has an idea.  
  
Sunny: "I think I can shake 'em in Kelp Forest National Park!"  
  
But SpongeBob doesn't answer because he's too busy crying. The Forest looms like a giant beast ahead of them. Sunny crashes into it and kills the headlamps, driving in darkness. After about ten minutes, she stops and turns off the engine. All is quiet.  
  
Sunny: "I think we did it! SpongeBob?"  
  
He pry's his fingers off of his face and looks around.  
  
SpongeBob: "We're lost, aren't we?"  
  
Sunny: "No...I think its this way out? Or maybe this way? Um, are you okay?"  
  
SpongeBob: "Okay?"  
  
He turns livid and jumps up on the seat, raging at her.  
  
SpongeBob: "BARNACLES! First, I get a lima bean stuck up my nose! Then Fluffy uses me as a chew toy and rips up my hand! My girlfriends throws me out of a two-story window and gives me a concussion! I have more bandages on than clothes, so she takes me on a wild police chase all over Bikini Bottom! Then, in a moment of inspiration, she gets up hopelessly lost in the Kelp Forest!!! OF COURSE I'M OKAY!!!"  
  
Sunny: (lip trembling) "I'm sorry..."  
  
SpongeBob: (sighs) "Not half as much as I am. We didn't even get to have sex tonight."  
  
Sunny looks around.  
  
Sunny: "The night isn't over yet, SpongeBob..."  
  
They look at one another. She looks sexy in the moonlight, in her bra and panties. He looks pathetic with his head and hand bandaged and a bean in his nose. But she loves him, and he drives her crazy with want.  
  
Sunny: "Now, SpongeBob."  
  
SpongeBob: "Now?!"  
  
Sunny: "NOW!! YEEEEE-HA!"  
  
SpongeBob: "AIEEEEEE!"  
  
She flies through the air and rips off her undergarments, then pushes him down like a bully in a school yard. He has never seen a girl naked before, and is paralyzed with fear and fascination. Sunny rips off his tighty- whities and jumps on him, pinning him down and having her way with him.  
  
At a house on the edge of the Kelp Forest, the same fish couple who saw a couple of naked sponges come out onto their back porch to investigate a noise in the woods. There is alot of howling and yelling, followed by a sound that humans would swear was Tarzan's jungle cry.  
  
Fish Husband: "Listen, honey! Wild oysters!" 


	5. Afterwards

PART FIVE - AFTERWARDS  
  
It is way after midnight. After finding their way out of the Kelp Forest, Sunny and SpongeBob pull up into Sunny's driveway, nearly naked and exhausted, but exhilarated. They sit in the boat and talk.  
  
SpongeBob: (grinning) "Well, gotta admit...that was different."  
  
Sunny: "I hope you enjoyed yourself!"  
  
SpongeBob: "Are you kidding? I'll be smiling for weeks! But I think I would enjoy it even more in our own beds..."  
  
He slowly turns to her, his expression coy.  
  
Sunny: "Ooo! Last one inside has to cook breakfast!"  
  
SpongeBob: "This time lock Fluffy in the closet!"  
  
They race inside and run upstairs. After a few minutes, a police boat cruising the neighborhood slows down and stops in front of Sunny's house.  
  
Sunny: "You know, SpongeBob, I'm just glad the police didn't catch us tonight! Can you imagine!?"  
  
SpongeBob: "Yeah, I know! I'd hate to have to call my mom to bail us out of jail! Especially after the way I ditched her!"  
  
They enjoy a good laugh as the officer in the police boat outside calls for backup, and that he's happy to report that he's located the vehicle that gave them all a good chase earlier that evening.  
  
THE END 


End file.
